Friday, June 11, 2010

Just Another List

Get up
Make coffee
chill for a bit
wake up daughter- not easy
get her ready for school
make breaky and lunch
get her to school with one minute to spare!
come home go for stroll with dog
come home
now what?

off today
between jobs
have things to do
go for some much needed supplies
start looking for white or black shirts and ties for new job
should seriously go for a massage
why do my eyes hurt?

oh yeah almost forgot
must follow up on that resume I sent last week
(for some reason the excitement for that one seems to be fading)
do some yoga
pull some weeds
make a list of things I want for house for decorating
a couple tables and chairs, paint, paintings.... pillows
pick Em up from bus- It's Friday yeah!

What's for dinner?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


It is late for me. I am usually crashed out by 11:30 p.m. I have so much to say. So many little ideas that I need to get down. I want to write again and the only way to do that is to get writing. Whether anyone is reading it or not. Of course I have my moleskin and my numerous journals. My Dictaphone for the "urgent message to self!" but I need to spill my inner most feelings to get across the feelings I am in so much desire of getting out there.
I am inspired by my new latest favourite novelist/blogger Julie Powell. She has recently proved that all you have to do is keep on writing. People will read it.
I am in the midst of a great change in my life. It has been a very slow going road. A road I embarked several years ago. I chose to go it alone for me and my daughter because I knew I needed some time figure out my path- where I am headed and what I need to do for it to work for us........I have climbed several mountains since then and I am grateful that I am here. I am so proud of the accomplishments of late and that my truest strongest hero is sweet Emily. She is my rock and I love her so much. But, she tires me out and by the time I sit down to write this my creativity has lapsed and I no longer have the stamina to tell a story. At least for tonight.
I will blog again soon and update my latest meal ideas. I am about to embark on Dr. Joshi's 21 day Holistic Detox. I will begin my cleanse Thursday which will mark 21 days of No smoking!
Time sure does fly. I am concentrating on my health more so than ever as of late, and really enjoying the fresh air!
Peace and Good night.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

What's For Dinner

When I began this blog spot, I thought it would be helpful to use this site as a daily venting post for the little annoyances that go along with my job- or really, the whole reality of my job! Working at a hot spot little bistro/bar in a small town- we are visited by anyone who wants to come out and have a bite to eat, a drink, or to socialize in the scene. We are small but large. We are open for lunch and dinner. Kitchen is closed by 8 or 9 at night- a blessing. We struggle through the winter and are usually super busy in the summer with our weed filled garden and mouldy wooded patio.
People come in hoards- when they come. Usually they are middle aged. People come from Toronto and act as though they have found the secret to Heaven! They have money to spend and appetites to fill-(exactly what we need to survive). The regulars come. They go. They come back. They mostly drink. People drink a lot in these parts. Mostly beer and wine. It's interesting to watch the richer folk get drunk a bit and socialize with their friends. They are not the subtle type, but at least they are having fun- I guess. Everyone is very loud and I often wonder if the diner's actually like coming in to eat with all the excitement. But, who can complain. What can you complain about? That people are having a good time? And business looks good? Anyone would look like an ass!

The toughest part about my job really --- is the main bones of it. Some act like a guest in your home-some cant figure out what they want to do and other's act like they half own the place because they are buying lunch at our establishment- and for some reason I must oblige to their order. I really can't stand that type. They are the type who want to dominate people and they will do it to a complete stranger just to feel as though they have status. Most people want attention as soon as they walk in the door. I can't blame them- It's my job to acknowledge you- however, I appreciate when people have patience if I am very busy. Some people want to know the specials right away. Other's need a moment to sit down and relax first before they can figure out what they like. I like both types. As long as people are attentive and respectable. You don't need to prove anything to me. I'm just a server- I'm not your servant. I am probably looking after 15 other people.

As much as I sound like I am bitching, and I know it may sound like I don't like my job- I do. I wouldn't do it if I didn't. But I have to admit it is stressful.
I've been working in restaurants for years. I have tried to make it as a writer and journalist among other titles but I always find myself going back to the restaurant gig. I get along well with people- even though certain ones piss me off. Usually we figure out how to subtly get along, but I would like to think I'm pretty good at what I do. And, for some reason I stick to it.

I'm off for a few days now, after working a full week, so this gives me a little time to balance out some time and get my home life in order for my own household, for whom I have to cook for and feed. It's really all about food. That is the most enjoyable part of our days. Maybe people have been let down so many times in their dining experiences that they just don't even know what they are going to get anymore. So I will explore some of the details that go along with dining out or dining in and how it goes from my view.

Friday, October 2, 2009

So sad

There is an answer

in the silence.

There is answer

in your mind.

There is an answer

in there in the the song somewhere.

There is a song in the music that defines your very soul.

The very music that was sung to bring you there is meant to bring you out.

What can you do when you end up cutting your hair?

The deepest thought longfelt?

To drive you to carry out such a task

Or to write the saddest thing you have felt


Words cannot describe.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Looking for a Cure

I am forgetting how to write.
I go to sleep early every night. Too busy during the day.. Don't know what to write. Have nothing to write about.
I blame just about everything for my inability to write anymore.. I have many excuses. Too many bad things happened to me last year so I stopped writing, took a break. Really. Too busy to sit, too tired after work, gotta make dinner gotta go for a walk, yoga or the grocery store.
Then my friend klo helped me start up this blog on and suggested I just write. Thanks K, easy for you to say- that's all you do.
I have many plans of bettering my life- writing more would be in those plans. Many very simple things can help you value your days if you focus on what you want and need-to certain measures. Mind you I still keep regular notes to self and lists in my moleskin and of course my current journal.
I am going to use my blog now.
I am officially welcoming myself back or to a new form of writing and communication for me.
I just need to go outside and have a cigaretteand go to bed but I will start writing regularily again, and that is all I know.


Monday, January 19, 2009

My Little Chicken Nugget

"What did you dream last night?" I asked Emily, mostly to slowly test the ground I was treading and to help her with the transition into another Monday morning on not enough sleep.

"I dreamed about french fries and chicken nugget's...and the french fries got mad at me cause I liked the chicken nugget's better."
Emily, my brilliant five-year-old, went on to say she even tried to like the fries but bit into one and still didn't like it so there was a war between the french fries and the chicken nugget's.
I thought maybe the Mulan story played a role in this one.
"That is so amazing that you can remember your dream Em," I said half believing her story because how could anyone make something like that up.
"I have to write that down," I promised.

Anyway the day went on. I dropped Em off at daycare and got myself to work only ten minutes late- if only I hadn't of stopped to chat to the neighbour who tried to squeeze my whole life story out of me- and a smoke while Emily got side tracked building tunnels in the snow. Damn it!

After work I take the beagle Finnegan, for a good walk around a big stretch of the nicest part of town and have him slide me down the hills- A great winter sport if you do not own a board. I go to pick up Emily after catching my breath. She gets upset because there may be a change of plans this evening and Sparks may be cancelled, which means she doesn't get her usual Monday night play with her friend Emilia. Immediately she looks for a scapegoat and demands McDonald's french fries, ironically enough. I give in cause I am able to provide her with that quick fix- anything to keep her from bawling that painful whine that makes my brain ring!
So we hit the golden arches drive through in the snowstorm, cause it's the least I could do since I already spent most all of my cash at the grocery store. So, we order a large fries cause I think she really wants them- and a toy- Yeah! it's the little puppy she's been wanting. She says she will save the fries till she gets home and not that there is a problem with what I am going to tell you next but it is the principal of it. Here goes.
We were nearly home, driving down the last road till we park and she tells me the smell of the fries were giving her a headache and hurting her tummy. Well can you imagine that? She already told me this morning she decided she did not like fries anymore. What was I thinking I should have known that would happen. So no more fries for Emily- This leads into a gorge for mommy. Instead of testing my will like Emily suggested I did not throw those fries away- While I made Emily dinner complete with animal shaped chicken nuggets, pork chops, and Caesar salad, and curried stew complete with mom's tea biscuits-for me- I ate the firkin french fries- every last one- before dinner. I hate temptation!
My blogs will become healthier- I promise.